More on Parenting

I have been thinking a lot lately about this subject and I feel compelled to share my thoughts.

Being a parent is not just about being the boss. One thing God has been showing me lately is how to be attentive to Jesse's needs. It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in "me" land. Whether it's housework or just goofing off on the computer, there are times when I find myself getting frustrated with him for "interrupting" whatever I happen to be doing. But then I have to stop and remember that he can't do anything for himself and unfortunately there will come a day when he doesn't rely on me. It's hard to put aside your "stuff" to help someone else. It takes a lot to put someone else's needs above yours.

As I am writing this it occurs to me how much this little guy is teaching me about the love of Christ. He put all of heaven aside to come to earth and die on the cross for me. WOW!!! It's amazing how that puts everything into perspective!!!

Jesse relies on me 100% of the time and here's another little lesson -- he relies on me FULLY. He trusts that when he cries I will go to him and find out what is wrong. I will love and comfort him. Isn't that the way Christ is with us?? We can sure learn a lot from babies.

Being attentive to your child's needs is not rocket science, but it does take time. I have to spend time with Jesse in order to find out what makes him tick. He's 11 weeks old and I can tell you when he is hungry, tired, or sick. I know how he wants to be held and when he just needs to be cuddled. These are things I learned by being with him 24/7. I know that a crying baby can be annoying but that's the only way he communicates. And if we're in a store or restaurant, rather than getting upset, I put aside whatever I'm doing to find out what's wrong and to comfort him.

Putting aside my "wants" means that Jesse comes first. That means saying no to things because it will interfere with his schedule. It means being aware of his needs and knowing my limits. When I'm tired and it's easier for me to get frustrated, it's best to just stay at home where everyone is much more comfortable. It's not easy to put your wants aside but one thing I've learned is that I am much happier and he is much happier when I put him first. It may mean excusing myself at a gathering to tend to him but it is worth it. I want Jesse growing up in a home where he feels loved and secure.

Jeremy mentioned the other day that he didn't think it was good that I was the only one who was able to calm Jesse. But I think it shows just how involved I am with Jesse. When he's on the floor I am there with him playing and talking to him. At bedtime I feed him and then I read and sing to him, every night. Why? Because it's important to me that I spend that quality time with him. It's important that I build a strong relationship with him now. I see what a good relationship my mom has with my brothers. They tell her they love her and they hug her and kiss her on the cheek, because she took the time when they were younger to build a strong relationship with them.

Being a parent is about self-sacrifice. In today's society everyone is looking out for #1. We live in a very self-centered - me,me,me - my, my, my - world. When you have a child you have to become self-less. Jesse is going to pick up on our character traits as he grows. I don't want him learning how to be selfish or self-centered from me or Jeremy. If I practice selfishness or I put my self above all others then he will do the same. As a parent, I have to set the example if I want him to follow it. I also have to be consistent with my example. I can not say one thing and do the exact opposite. The way I see it, Jesse is already learning things from me and Jeremy. We need to set an example now if we want him to follow it later.

As parents we have incredible task ahead of us. Unfortunately, I don't think many parents understand the vastness of this responsibility. As Christian parents the task is even greater because we are raising children that will either be strong Christian leaders or they'll be lazy, unconcerned (fire insurance) Christians. My prayer is that God will use Jesse in a mighty way and that we will raise him in such a way that it will bring honor and glory to God.